I have not posted in a while, been super busy, which is no excuse. I wanted to talk about family, this is something I struggle with, meaning the relationship I have with my family. My parents had my twin sister and I at young ages and I watched them struggle to stay married and also just get along. As I have gotten older I have realized that I want to be closer to my family. Distance has kept that from happening. I am very close with my sister, but am finding my relationship with my brother and my father is rocky. I have no relationship with my mother because of past disappointments. They say family is forever and that we should forgive easily, but what happens when you keep getting let down? What happens when in your head your expectations are never going to be met. I was told I need to set boundaries, clear precise boundaries, so that I don't get hurt anymore.
My biggest struggle out of all of this is the feeling of not being good enough, that my needs get put on the back-burner, so I can satisfy everyone else's. I am slowly working on this. But parts of me sink back into that feeling of worthlessness because of the past. Not only do I not feel good enough to my family, but other areas of my life. I have decided to stop doing this, make new choices that will cause me less pain and keep me happy.
I know this is deeper than other topics I have posted, but it feels good to get this out in the open and hope that I can get passed the hurt and move on to being the best I can. Below is my reason for everything, she makes me so happy and keeps me going.
